Friday, December 23, 2011

Four years at SASTRA and Music

Music has been an integral part of my life… Especially at SASTRA, away from home, it was the spine that supported my soul at the best and worst of times.
For the first time at SASTRA, I had to live in a hostel, with strangers. Initially, it used to be really difficult. Fighting for a bathroom, waiting for food in the mess, praying for everyone in the room to sleep off so that I could catch some winks of comfortable sleep… Not all days were lucky and I used to sing June ponaal, July Kaatre to remind myself ‘Arai kulle mazhai varuma, veliye vaa kudhukalama, Indha bhoomi pandhu, engal koodai pandhu, andha vaanam vandhu koorai seidhadhingu!’ This gave me some sort of relief and comforted me that the whole world remained to be explored and all this is only a trailor of experience.
Powercuts are frequent at SASTRA, and once I was caught in total darkness inside a bathroom… Left with no one to bring me to light (literally), I sang out ‘Thaniye, Thannan Thaniye’, managing to scare away my dear roommate who had ventured out to save me. As I already mentioned, it was difficult to sleep amongst the cacophony in my room. For this, I took the help of an audio cassette and my favourite walkman… And the songs? From Kaakha Kaakha and Sivaji. They used to put me to sleep. Sometimes Lagaan…
Then slowly cultural events started unfolding at college.. And two of my classmates were auditioning for Western dance team. The very first time I heard that song, I felt exultation, something as if I had known it for years and only now it had manifested as a song. I wondered how I had missed it for sooo long; it was the ‘Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai’ song from Woh Lamhe… Wow, whenever I heard it, I felt I was somewhere, where only happiness existed…
With the release of Happy days, not only me, but the entire college fell in love with the album.. I loved listening to ‘O My Friend’, especially on a rainy evening…. J The world was at peace then….
Hum jo chalne lage from Jab We Met and Tumse Hi, Maa from Taare Zameen Par, Tumko paaya hai to jaise khoya hoon from OSO were intermittent favourites… With the influence of one of my friends, I started listening to some old Tamil songs as well… Mandram Vandha Thendral was a true love in this regard..
Then, in a chance encounter I came across someone who made me think the Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai song was real… But I shrugged it off as a whim…
As I went into second year, I had interesting roommates who were all interested in music. Kangal Irandal was one song I drowned myself in, though for a short period of time. The love for the song wouldn’t have diminished had it not been for a big issue cropping out of that song in the background…
Then, after Varanam Aayiram released, fell deeply in love with Adiye Kolludhey.. it used to keep running in my room, played by me or any other of the occupants…
Around this time, overcome by Guzaarish song from Ghajini, we celebrated Sonu Nigam Day on 27th December. J The story is a long one, so let it remain in memory…
Masakali was a song, which when I heard first, thought was some foreign language.. J I heard it properly again and marvelled at the inspiration it could give me..
How did I forget to mention Kodana Kodi song from Saroja, which made all of us dance like crazy… Saturday nights were item number time… I had a super duper playlist and we used to dance from cot to pole to window… to the terror of our opposite room akkas.. J
Unfaithful by Rihanna and Unakkena Naan were always played consecutively and we managed to get a track where both were mixed up…
Desi gal was an intermittent favourite.. Where’s the party, ah namma room-la party…!!! Ya Ali, Bheegi Bheegi and Tu hi mera Shab Hai, along with Fashion ka Jalwa were also on my lips for a long time… In my second year, I was so crazy about music that I went to my IV sem Math exam after memorising lines from Goodbye Nanba after a chance fancy I took to it… Surprisingly, the song helped me concentrate easily in my exam and I walked off with a clear S.
Third year was when I tried listening to Cascada- Everytime we touch and The Runaway by Corrs.. Loved these.. Specially The Runaway… Wished I could really run away… with you.. J ;)
Around this time, I watched Life in a Metro… What pleasure… Loved Rishtey to Nahin soooooooo much… The song made me feel I was spiralling into memories… had such an instinctive music that churned the soul. I felt it gave me the going around feeling which is supposed to be attained from intoxicants… J
Hasili fissile… watta song!!! More than the song, it was the mischievous memories associated with it that make me smile.. the way I got a permission overnight to go home and escaped to Coimbatore instead with a guy whom I had hardly known for two days, with my friend reassuring me that he’s totally trustworthy!!! J On the return trip, got a double treat with another far away friend ( ;) ) joining us… Awesome two days..!!!
Aayirathil Oruvan brought to me the celebration of life, literally, in its theme music (the King Returns)… Un mela Aasai dhaan was a great number..
In third year, there was a course taught by the dean.. He once played songs for us during the exam.. Pudhu Vellai Mazhai, Ghanan Ghanan and Radha Kaise na Jale.. And we in our team, forgot to write the exam lost in humming and singing, until he told us we had half an hour left.. J ;)
How can I forget Sahana Vavathu, composed by my classmate… a potential guitarist… unfortunately we were not singers good enough or well-suited for him..
As I entered fourth year, initially taken in with happy songs from I hate Love stories… I didn’t feel any proper emotion towards any song…
It was later I felt a great meaning come in to all songs I loved earlier as they merged in to one thought, one mind I cherished…
Living in a single room in final year, I have thought several times, Rishtey toh nahi, rishton ki parchaiyaan mile…
Around the time of leaving hostel, I fell in love with Enamo Edho from Ko, Anbulla Kanava…
Humming these songs as my farewell, carrying Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai in my heart… I left SASTRA, thanking it for all the beautiful memories it gave me..
The music that made it initially possible for me to sustain my life at hostel, later became the symbol of the beautiful memories it was associated with… I dedicate this to all the people who gave/give meaning to the rhythm of my life.. J

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Individualism promoted and sustained by collectivism??!!!

Somethings that I read today morning in the Hindu Magazine set me thinking...
The cult started by Steve Jobs which asked people to be different... The result of which, in an effort to be different, people all end up buying the various Apple products...
The strategy is to address the insufficiency typical of the collectivist-minded people, telling them that to be identified as different in this world, they need to be misfits... misfits with the individualist streak; Apple was branded as the identity of such misfits/individualism, inspiring such values....
And the outcome, people try to portray individualism in groups, buying the product without second thoughts!!!
The irony- people depend on a brand to showcase their individualism..!!!
What I am not very sure about is- the writer of the newspaper article blames Steve Jobs for misdirecting people...
But wasn't his prime objective to sell Apple to the world? He was competent enough to have figured out the depravity of people... If people were ready to buy the story, why shouldn't he have spun the yarn??!!

Thursday, October 27, 2011


Whenever I go crazy, I think of you,
Probably because you alone understand my craziness,
Or I go crazy only when I think of you,
My friends keep saying that I am absolutely crazy at all times,
Does that mean I keep thinking of you all the time??!!! :)

Monday, October 24, 2011


The day is dying out,
Light’s fading,
A sad twilight,
Merging into a sorrowful night,
I feel you all around…
Like a lone traveller,
Guided by the blurred light of a single beacon,
Going towards it,
With every inch I move,
Braving the November mist,
The winter that chills up my bones,
Oh! How I wish, I could just curl,
Up against your strong, warm body,
When time would no longer have any meaning,
Seconds becoming minutes, minutes becoming hours,
As days, might as well, eons, pass by,
Just you and me, our tangled selves…

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Top 10 Things to do before I die

Its a rare thing for people in my house apart from me to get a dream... At dinner today, suddenly, my dad remarked that he had a dream in which Lord Shiva told him that the world will end in 2012 at the occasion of his Maha Thandava. So what,I thought, If the world were to end in 2012, I would be only too happy to let go of my current responsibilities and jump onto fulfilling some important wishes of mine.
Sometimes I feel, people who know about the time of their death are lucky; like Sid in 180. They get to forego responsibilities guiltlessly and live every moment.
I was left thinking what would be the top things I would like to do before I die, shall I call it my bucket list!? I have a strong feeling this wishlist is subject to change till the minute of my death... Still, here we go:
1. Visit all the wonders of the world.
2. To meet Shah Rukh Khan and tell him how much he means to me.
3. To meet ARR and tell him how much I enjoyed Maa Tujhe Salam and wished that O Saaya song had won the Oscar and not Jai Ho.
4. To go to a disco with Mr. PJ and dance for Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai; also listen to Rishte to nahin song lying down on his lap.
5. To spend one full day with my friend Kaarthik and also attend his wedding.
6. To meet my Mr.Someone Special and watch Kadhal Konden movie with him.
7. To taste every alcoholic drink available.
8. To go rafting in the Ganges.
9. To reach the summit of Mt. Everest and stay there overnight.
10. To go down into the deep sea and touch the pearls and corals.
:) :) :)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

My Captain Planet

His poised self,
Cool and controlled,
Determination and unbendable will,
The long lines of his solid physique,
I lean against in times of frill,
He, the nourisher, the provider,
The source and support of all life,
For resources he has no dearth,
He is Earth.

Under his cool composure,
Burns the fire of passion,
The warmth spreads in me,,
Every vein and nerve,
His constructive fury,
Against any injustice, bordering danger, his actions,
Powered by fireful emotions,
His moulding smolder shall never tire,
He is Fire.

His chimeful speech,
Rings in my ears,
Bright and cheerful face,
His light-footed swift pace,
Bouncing along from flower to flower,
The cool spring breeze,
Quick intelligence and multiple talents,
He is the breath that feeds my soul,
He is wind.

His crystal-like eyes,
Sharp, piercing and reflecting,
I see in him the truth,
The pure mirror reflects,
He quenches the thirst of my parched heart,
The reliever of all diseases,
The rejuvenator of the world,
Free from sins,
He steals my love, the honest looter,
He is Water.

The vital force of life,
He is the power to struggle and strive,
Through him life thrives,
Compassion he spreads,
He is the sunshine,
Goodness he inspires,
Positivity he personifies,
The unknown, unseen living force,
In me and every living soul,
He is Heart.

Made of five elements,
The synergy overpowers singularity,
Each one bestowing their best,
He, in combination, becomes master of them all,
He is the ruler, He is supreme.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Attitude Problem???!!!

I heard the term 'Attitude problem' for the first time in my first year at college...
And that too directed at me... Wondered for long what that could mean... When I asked one of my friends, she laughed and said I was nowhere close to having an attitude problem and just asked me to chuck the matter...
Now, in my final year, it comes back to haunt me... this time in a much worse way... someone having an attitude problem with me...!!!
My first request: plz someone tell me what does this attitude problem mean?
Next, before you conclude that someone doesn't understand your view point, first try explaining it to them..!
Thirdly, don't give all fancy dialogues one day that friendships will continue forever and some other day blatantly declare that its over... before you make huge statements like the former, make sure you really will mean them forever... lest you hurt someone...(inevitably that's what you end up doing)...
Finally, let me make a disclaimer: This post is not intended for anyone.. its just an outlet for myself...(Apparently, I'm supposed to be the one always hurting ppl!!!)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

One Last Wish...

Every time you wish me a longer life,
Every time you wish me dead,
Only thing that has been true,
Am already dying…
As talks of 2012 loom,
The world worrying about an impending doom,
I smile because I just know,
Am already dying…
Caught in science’s shackles,
People talk about God’s miracles,
I feel the cunning grasp of death’s tentacles,
Am already dying…
A friend to laugh with,
A friend to scold,
A friend to shed a tear, once I floor,
Am already dying…
The moments, minutes, hours and days,
Our conversations taking shape,
Etched in my mind, I shall take,
Those memories with me to the rake,
Am already dying…
Adieu, I bid,
Ask for one last wish,
In my heart you shall be,
Until fire reigns its spree,
But your heart shall live,
Let not sorrow claim its kill,
Burden not the poor heart,
Memories of a rotten past,
Live a life that compensates,
For what I missed; contemplate,
The small heart with its alcove,
Make it a tremendous treasure trove,
Hear from me, “Life’s worth Living”,
It owes you not a single farthing,
Live it down, right to the last,
No regrets; Alas!
Am already dying…

Friday, April 8, 2011


You leave me pondering in the dark,
Alone I ruminate over,
The few moments together,
You and me…
The world around me is abuzz,
With activities several,
Energy up thrust,
Passions ablaze,
Rivalry savage,
Warmth gone,
I stay cold,
Only embers of once a great fire remain,
You and me…
I resign from this myriad world,
Retire into my cold haven,
Meaningless even the minimum activities seem,
Without your presence,
To promote liveliness,
Life blurs,
Into hazy horizons,
Framed by the shades of memories,
Like ghosts from the past,
Outlining the sunset over my life,
Twilight turns to dusk,
I ponder alone into the dark…

Friday, January 28, 2011

My heart runs to you...

My heart runs to you,
It always shall,
Like the river seeking the ocean,
Like the bird seeking its nest,
Like the roots seeking water,
Like the bee seeking a flower,
Like a human seeking his soul…

You smiled at me once,
That keeps me smiling even today,
You spoke to me once,
That keeps my heart still beating,
The memory of you next to me,
Keeps me breathing and alive today...

My heart stays with you,
It stays with me not,
Anyone around me,
I see you in them,
Definitely none as good, I tell myself,
Across the distances, my heart,
My heart, it always runs to you…
I sit in a lecture, and I ponder,
This guy can’t make a soul listen, I wonder,
How could you sway an entire audience,
With your presence???
That was a fateful day,
When I was among those people,
Not swayed, but swept off my feet,
I remain still the same way,
Tousled and tangled, my feet are off the ground,
Give me back my heart, you stole it,
Honestly, it just went with you, I know it…
The breeze that meets you at your window,
Every raindrop falling on you,
The goodwill that surrounds you,
The flower that smiles at you,
The passion that sets you ablaze,
Every one of these is an expression of my love,
My heart stays with you,
It comes back to me not…

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A mother's flutter

The mother-to-be was worried and flustered,
All around the place she fluttered,
‘Oh! I have to feed the kids in my womb,
Or in there, it’ll become their tomb,’
“I’ll do something my dears,
Put to rest all your fears.”

Through a window, she saw a well-lit house,
There a man stretched happily on a couch,
“He may help me,” she had a hunch,
She approached him straight, but ‘Punch!!!’
Her head swooned in agony and pain,
She thought she was going to faint,
Still she fought to try and recover,
She was already within his arm’s cover,
He made an effort towards another assault,
She gathered her strength and simply took off,
Far, far away she went from him,
Between gasps of breath her face was grim,
“Is it wrong, Oh God! To feed my kids?
The people out there are so acrid,
Am I asking for all their food?
Just striving for a mouthful.
But, God, I shall not cease,
Only after I feed my kids will I attain peace.”

Saying so, again she went,
Prying around for fresh food scent,
Not far away did she find,
A baby with its cup of grind,
She went up to it at full force,
Sucked away at its rosy toes,
“Waaaa!!!” It cried, the mother turned,
“Oh my darling!, what happened?”
She saw me drinking her baby’s blood,
Her anger came rushing in full flood,
Before she could hit me, I ran,
To make my nest and lay my clan,
“Mosquitoes are simply the worst”,
She did not understand another mother’s thirst…